Something that never ceases to frustrate and perplex me is how useless our words can often be. Sometimes they can bring healing, once in a while a bit of encouragement, but the most often they bring confusion, misunderstanding, and division. Why oh WHY can our words not be used as they were meant to be? I long for the days when our human hearts will be pure and our intensions; innocent and beneficial to others.
Today I spent an hour pondering what to say to someone or if I should say anything at all... but I couldn't overcome the thought of "am I playing into the idolatry of fear of man or am I pursuing a holy obedience?" Finally I couldn't come to an answer to that question so I didn’t' talk to them at all... It was really frustrating... I wish my intentions and words always matched what pleases the Lord and they were not mistaken by others perspectives.
So, as I meditate on this endless dilemma I can only come up with a few conclusions. First of all I am most certainly a fallen creature. The things I want to do I don't, and the things I think are in good intentions can be so easily masked by sin. Secondly I know my wife someday is going to have to be a very understanding and gracious woman, because I can be so foolish sometimes. Thirdly I must ultimately rest upon the continual prayer that the Lord would relentlessly purify my heart, guard my tongue, and allow his Holy Spirit to dwell upon me. Only then will the worthlessness of my heart and tongue apart of Jesus be made into something beautiful. Create in me a pure heart Oh Lord and renew a right spirit within me!
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